ThePanda

I wanted to publish this earlier, reallllllllllly did but Blogger.com seemed to be down….. It ain’t me fault, its ze chimps fault, its their conspiracy ray which has been affecting everything zat me does… Not fair zey r stooooooooooooping to new lows, and zey seem to be trying real hard 2 get 2 me, and me not even do nething to them….... NOT FAIR BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

Software design, specially embedded and hardware level software design is tested mostly during year-ends, as one year rolls by and another rolls forth… The Y2K bug for instance was a simple case of software designers underestimating the length of time basic hardware level software subsystems (the so called BIOS) wud be used for in an unchanged form, and hence implementing support for 2 digit yrs only. Well seems like a lot of ppl lrnt a lot of lessons abt software life-cycles in that particular period of time, but a few chimps simply refused to c the light of day and change their ways… An hour ago my cellphone’s (the simple, seemingly ubiquitous device which keeps on troubling u, everytime u don’t wanna be troubled but doesn’t ring when u really wanna talk to someone) service provider shut down the service which provides me with a balance screen at the end of each call. Yesterday they had flashed a nice little informational thingee which in essence said zat the service wud be down from 11PM on 31/12 to 1 AM on 1/1… Zis isn’t an essential service, just a damn useful one (specially when ur trying to make international calls) and ze shutdown though not life threatening is definitely irritating and saddening… So I try and find out y ze chimps at ze phone company r switching off zis particular service, and well it turns out zat ze computer which gives out balances is ze same one as the one which holds account expiry dates, and zey have to convince the computer that its not going back in time… Which means that no accts will be expiring between the hrs of 12 & 1 AM today, and which also means zat my cellphone company uses software manufactured by a chimp, and zat it didn’t learn from the Y2K crisis (which strangely never materialized, no planes fell out of ze sky, no power failure, no nukes firing away, no nothing)... Now ze cellphone company saves a whole 16 bits (assuming it stores info as BCD which a lot of embedded dbs do) per subscriber when it skimps out on including ze yr, however doing so does produce this irritatingly hilarious effect… Cost versus customer satisfaction becomes an issue and well 16 bits of data cost nothing as compared to Ze Panda’s satisfaction as the year rolls by… But then again y shud zey care, zey have been zapped by ze chimp conspiracy ray haven’t zey…........ ME AM TELLING U ALL ZIS IS ONE HUGE CONSPIRACY AGAINST PANDAS, AND SLOWLY EVERYONES BECOMING INVOLVED, EVERYONE INCLUDING MY CABLE COMPANY, THE NET COMPANY, THE PHONE COMPANY, THE CELLPHONE COMPANY, EVERYONE (OK maybe not ze colleges, but me not know zat until me get more replies in January/March/April)...

Hmm neways me also discovered one nice little fluke on ze MacOS X calculator (no not a bug just a fluke)... Try this sometime, switch to Advanced mode, do some calculations then at ze end of all of zat just type a new number in, calculator like all good members of its species will automatically do a partial clear and ull be starting a new operation. Now after doing some calculation press RN and it will still do a partial clear and give u a new random number (between 0 & 1) which it shud because RN’s r after all numbers… Now try doing some calculations and pressing the ¸ (Pi) key and voila it will not clear or show u ne number… Now pi is a number even though a strange number which can never be accurately expressed it is a number, and someone need to tell zat to Apple… Ze Panda’s already made 2 many requests 2 apple so me won’t do it, besides I use RPNC X 1.4 and bc instead…

Me get me new calendar tomorrow… Thing is me always use zis one calendar which Olympus kindly gives to me dad every year, usually on New Yrs day (so ze calendar cud also be deferred tomorrow, but hopefuly it wudnt)... Zis calendar thingee always has photos on a particular theme (which changes each yr) by zis one Japanese guy who takes realllllllllllllly cool wildlife photographs (ya ze photos r usually restricted to wildlife though a few with humans also pop up from time 2 time)... 2003’s theme was Forever Innocent, and had all these nice photos of baby animals (currently on a baby seal) and the year b4 it was on inuits and animals of the Arctic regions. Previous years have also seen a focus on birds, animals of the Savannah regions, animals of Japan and other such niceties.. For obvious reasons this is one of the few calendars I really love since using a calendar which has festivals, monuments or some such thing and carries the stamp of the propaganda (better known as the Publication and Public Relations or some such thing) Department of the Information & Broadcasting ministry is beyond ne pandas self esteem… Besides this calendar carries day names in 4 different languages and marks no holidays, so zat me am free to decide wat days r panda holidays, and I don’t have to see depressing months with no holidays marked on zem…

A friend of mine is soon gonna be providing me with a copy of some movie named The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, finally enabling me to celebrate 108 yrs of cinema by watching a brand new movie right here at home YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…....... Shows u that no matter how hard ze chimps try with zeir chimp conspiracy ray they can at most defer most of my celebrations, not dampen them completely… Sad for them…....

The New Year is here (YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO if its a good year 4 me unlike ze last one BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO otherwise) and while we celebrate in r revelry there r ppl mourning for their dead in some corner of Iran (ok in Bam I know zat)...... While me have always believed that someone is definitely crying while we celebrate, a mourning of zis magnitude is not exactly wat I’d been thinking abt….. Ze Panda hates seeing ppl dying off b4 they wanted to (though he fully supports those who died off becoz they wanted 2) and well its kindda sad ‘coz I don’t have the money to help these guys out and I didn’t really find ne link or ad thingee which helped these guys out…... I have been moving all around the www searching for a way to help them by doing something on in virtual life however I haven’t yet found a way to help out and zat is sad…. Well here’s wishing all zose guys out there luck with rebuilding and going on with their life….... If neone knows someway pandas can help these guys out (banners, web-space, creating software, etc) lemme know, ‘coz then I can try and do something…............... Someone shud build something like CodeAmber for these natural disaster thingees 2, though the banner shud be prettier than CodeAmber’s banner since I’d put the CodeAmber on every page that I cud if it was just a little prettier…...........

Me have been going thru ze UAlberta residence pages, and well me like ze living arrangements, but ze temperature is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy below nething that I have ever experienced (its -14.96?C as of now) and well me kindda wonder what living at zat kind of tempratures wud be like, though a lotsa ppl assure me zat I can go to colder climates than zis… I guess I can finally test whether I have ze adaptations which allow other pandas (ze non city kinds) to survive in ze extreme weather zey do, or do I need to go thru an adaptation phase…. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..........

Ze Panda
Wishing everrrrrrry one (even ze chimps who conspire against him) a happy new year :p….....................

Newspapers r funny creations, funny ‘coz not only do they manage to sell stale news to a vast majority of ze world’s humans, chimps, and (I admit) pandas, but becoz they often expect zat we’ll go back in time, and use the various little pcs of info they give us… Take today’s paper for instance, it has zis little piece on where to be while celebrating the new year, and well it includes locations such as Alaska, and the Caribbean Islands… Considering zat it is new year’s eve, r ppl supposed to go back in time and somehow manage to reach zese places to celebrate new years, or is zis to inform ppl abt where they shud go next yr??? I doubt ne humans or chimps (though pandas probably wud) with enough money to visit these places wud remember the list in time for next yrs holiday season… So short of wasting valuable paper (and hence valuable trees), and ink ze papers have done nuthing to help neone… Someone shud tell zese guys that next time they wanna help with holiday plans they shud provide it at least 3 weeks b4 ze holiday season starts, not at ze end of it…

Tonight most cities internationally will see an unimaginable increase in DUI cases, and most hotels wud see a phenomenal increase in decibel levels… Tonight ppl in a large part of India and in a large part of Delhi 2 wud watch Star Wars Episode II… UNFORTUNATELY ZE PANDA DOESN’T STILL HAVE ACCESS TO ZE MOVIE CHANNEL… ZE PANDA SEE NO INCREASE IN NETHING, AND ZE PANDA DOESN’T DUI, so ZE PANDA DEMANDS SOMETHING WORTH DOING AT MIDNIGHT (umm ze blog will be updated and it is well worth doing but me mean something out of ze ordinary)... ZE PANDA DEMANDS ACCESS TO ZE MOVIE CHANNEL….........................

Zis discussion is in direct response to a sleepy conversation yesterday night, so if u don’t enjoy it, blame ze other guy not me… It all started with me calling a certain thing a non-erotic fetish and zis guy telling me zat it was a nice way of putting things… Now if u go thru the definition of fetish ud find zat it has 4 meanings out of which most have nothing to do with sex or eroticism… I can already hear murmurs in ze background abt how ze erotic definition has been highlighted by a growth in the www, which has made it easier 4 ppl to access porn and other such thingees… Well me not agree, in fact me feel most of zis wrong definition thingee is due to the so called ‘moral police’ which blame ne and all wrongs on the internet and ppl who say zat accessing porn sites on ze internet is a major cause of indecency and blah blah blah… If zese guys left zere opposition well alone, ppl wudnt go to these sites simply becoz it increases ur standing in a peer grp… As for visiting ze sites otherwise, well smut and porn have existed long b4 ze internet or even civilization as we know it now, and me am sure that most of these morality guys have gone thru atleast some form of these as teens, so I don’t c y it shud be such a big issue with zem… LOOKS LIKE MORALITY HAS SUDDENLY BECOME STATIC INSTEAD OF DYNAMIC, SAD…........

Its more like following propaganda nowdays, ppl r successful if zey follow propaganda, otherwise zey r considered to be fooooooooooools. We have propaganda saying zat porn is bad, so even ppl who spend a large portion of zeir time making and going to such sites say zat zey r bad… Some guy (friends of mine actually) says zat he’s an ethical hacker, and u have entire legions of ethical hackers standing up… Well until a few years back these same ethical hackers were called security experts a much more accurate term for zeir jobs, but no zese guys have to call zemselves ethical hackers now… A hacker was supposed to be an expert, good programmers still call each other hackers, while ze malicious guys were supposed to be crackers, but some foooooooooooooools (must have been chimps, zey r ze only ones who do stoooooooooooopid things like zis to spite pandas, for all u know they may have gone back in time like ze terminators and done ze changes back zen, 4 all u know it may be an extended effect of ze conspiracy against ze panda now…) did malicious thingees called zemselves hackers and ze name stuck… Y do they have to change zeir terminology ever so often, since me really liked ze term hacker and wud have loved to have ze ability to publicly declare zat I am a hacker, without fearing zat I wud be thrown into prison… Strangely even laws declare malicious guys as hackers, not crackers (umm does zat mean zat if I destroy some network and say zat I am a cracker not a hacker theyd lemme out…...)......

Neways me friend says zat Mac OSX 10.3.2 increases speeds, and well me have unfortunately been unable to download all of it until now, so I shall be giving a panda subjective analysis (one which doesn’t depend on stopwatches, instead relying on ze panda’s highly subjective and inaccurate biological clock) abt zis later, though me did subjectively feel a speed increase from 10.2.6 to 10.3.1, lets hope zis guys right abt the further increase in speeeeeeeeeed…

Umm for those of u who have watched Final Fantasy The Spirits Within, Nature has an interesting article on ze Gaia theory, and me was really surprised since me have never really considered the Gaia theory to be ne form of pure science… For those who haven’t (watched the movie that is, belief I can’t help u with), in the Final Fantasy movie the Earth is invaded by alien spirits. Ze main character (a female named Aki and an old professor) believe that the Earth has a spirit, Gaia and zat all organisms also have a part of zis Gaia. Everytime when an organism dies its spirit returns to Gaia to nourish it with the knowledge and experience it has gained in its time on earth… Ze nature article runs in more in terms of ze Earth as a living system, something which I kindda agree with… Even if u think all that I just said is crap, go thru ze article its pretty interesting…

More surprisingly Nature also has an article (unfortunately the articles available on ze magazine only) on Rudolf (the red nosed reindeer of ze portly man) and it turns out zere really r mutated reindeers which have bioluminescence on their noses (a fancy way of saying zat zeir noses glow in ze dark) and abt how they were abt to be killed off b4 the santa thingee came to light… Interesting to c zat u can actually have a reindeer driven headlight…...

Ze Panda
Happy to know zat zere r no glowy nosed pandas, and still waiting for ze 10.3.2 update 2 finish downloading ….............

P.S. Don’t be caught DUI, Ze Panda as far as possible prefers living, unconvicted, sane readers…..

Me had a friend over yesterday, he’d come to inform me zat he’s leaving to join the engineering core of the Indian army, he’s supposed to be leaving on ze 9th (or something) of January… Zis guys one of my oldest friends and we’ve been creating havoc for ppl (mostly) and each other (more often than ud guess) and we’ve helped each other thru thick and thin since b4 either of us cares to remember….. Now we’ve had r differences and r friendship keeps waning and waxing ever 2 often (we were at a pretty thin phase in recent times), with periods of time when we’re inseparable and periods when we can’t tolerate the presence of each other, but at ze end of ze day we’ve been there and we’ve always backed each-other against ze world… Now suddenly he turns up and tells me he’s off to an organization which specializes in deaths and whose members have been in continuous deployment for more zan 50 yrs, and which looses ppl at an amazingly fast rate… While I am not unhappy, since doing so wud be wrong, he really wanted to study engineering and zis really provides an opportunity which he shudnt give up, I am slightly dazed and well hope that he has a good time with his training and stuff… What scares me more than his going off, is the fact zat me am not sure that ze army really allows u to comm with ze outside world all zat much, and me am afraid zat me may loose a friend whom I value, and considering zat I have very few friends whom I trust to ze extent I trusted zis guy (umm there r a few I trust even more, but still zey r a subset of the small superset zis guys a member of) and loosing a friend is not goooooooooood for Ze Panda… Hopefully he’ll remember me, and well when he’s a proper officer type thingee 4 yrs from now, I can go 2 ze weirdly strange places zese guys r posted in, and well do me photography… While I don’t know whether he reads zis blog or not (me sent him ze link, he said it was good, but aint sure abt him being a regular reader) I still wish him luck with his thingeee, though a panda wud never go to an army (2 scary, 2 much noise, 2 much chance of damaging both ur liver and ur brain, 2 many weapons, 2 many ppl trying to shoot u in all ze places u don’t wanna get shot in, 2 many bombs, 2 much DEATH in short, NO THANK U NO ARMIES FOR ZE PANDA).................

My deferred celebration of 108 yrs of movies has been further deferred courtesy me cable operator, who just de-authorized me from receiving all channels and left zis nice long form for me to filllll out so zat he can authorize channels me opt for…. Considering zat me did buy ze STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID set top box, which doesn’t even lemme record and lowers ze quality of ze already low quality images zat I do receive, ZE PANDA OBJECTS TO LOOSING ZE ABIliTY TO WATCH ZE ATTACK OF ZE CLONES WHICH COMES ON TV TODAY…. Zis sounds like another one of ze chimps conspiracies, zey don’t even need 2 zap my cable operator since he’s a chimp and probably listens to some damn chimpish leader or something… Y does everyone have 2 conspire against me 2 destroy me NEW YEAR, specially when me had such a bad year already and want a better year zis year… Me demand some form of hack which allows me to watch ze movie, or a direct link up to ze broadcasting center… Everyone says zat pandas r endangered, ze World Wildlife Fund freely uses us as an emblem, and companies like Panda antivirus earn millions (me certainly hope so) from sellllllllling products branded using r names, and NO ONE COMES FORWARD TO HELP ME CELEBRATE by watching Star Wars Episode 2, which me had watched once and realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly liked… BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ze panda wanna watch attack of ze clones today (umm u have 21 hrs to act in case u wanna help a panda out)...

Hmm happily a new yr starts in another 24 hrs and me am happy zat ze dastardly year that was is gone, since it was one of ze worse yrs me ever went thru, ze year me lost me school, abt a 100 friends (most weren’t verrrryyy close so its ok), didn’t get a college me liked, ...... Zere were happy thing 2, ze yr saw ze beginning of zis BLOG, an increase in my photography,... but still at the end of the yr its been pretty bad and pretty sad, hopefullllllllllllllllly ze next one wud be better…...

Neways Ze Panda’s list of New Yr resolutions is out look and marvel:

1. Have a better yr zan last yr (reallllllllllllllllly important)
2. Find a college zat me likes and stick there (OK maybe try 4 transfers but only to verrrrrrrrry few selected universities)
3. Find a way around ze Chimp conspiracy ray, and ze chimp conspiracy in general… :p to allllll CHIMPS and CHIMP SPIES
4. Take at least one INTERNATIONAL FliGHT, figure out wats ze gr8 deal abt immigration and customs (ZE PANDA’S never left India except for one midnight escapade into Nepal)
5. FINISH AT LEAST ONE SOFTWARE/ROBOT/IDEA zat me have been planning on for sooooooooooooooooooooooooo longgggggggggggggggggggggggggg
6. Blog, blog, blog, blog, blog
7. Try and lrn to enjoy parties without standing in ze corner and chomping on appetizers ONLY (do something other than zat 2)
8. Find some more cool pieces of music…
9. Move around with a camera and lens more often
10. In case all else fails shift to PLAN B (umm yes zere is a plan b but me can’t mention it here, VERRRRRRRYYYYYYYY VERRRRRRYYYYYYYY DANGEROUS AND TOPPPPPP SECRETTTT)

Me finished downloading The Winds of Change today only to realize it wasn’t ze song me wanted… There’s some song which goes something like “Almost Heaven,...West Virginia Blue Ridge Mountain, .... River,... Forest Road, ...Older than the Trees, Younger than the Mountains, ...Take me home to West Virginia”, and me heard zis in one of ze dinners hosted at ze resort and me reallllllllllllly liked it, saddly me don’t know ze songs name, and me was trying 2 hard 2 hide so didn’t go and ask ze hotel guys what was playing… Me willllll be realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly happpppppppppy if someone told me ze song’s name so zat me can finally get it and hear it as it is suppppposed to sound…. Winds of Change is pretty good though me have heard 2 many bad renderations of the song at skool, so me really don’t wanna hear it allll dat much…

Yesterday afternoon one of me friends was pestering me abt helping him decide whether 2 give a few rather expensive exams which wud certify him as being competent to help setup software and sollutions by a particularly rich corporate entity which me not really like (or hate) all that much… He was pestering me ‘coz me am certified on being competent at building new solutions using this same entities products, and well saddly me cudnt really help him with his choice… It cud be both equally useful and useless 4 him depending on wat he decides to eventually end up doing, and I guess its pretty expensive so personal tastes play 2 much of a role… However zis guy has a certificate lying around from some course thingee he took and well ze primary reason me got certified was becoz me never took ne of ze course type thingees so ze certificate was ze only documentary evidence of my skills (limited at best)...

Me also went for a passport foto thingee today, to zis place which promised instant photos of ze correct size (need zem to apply for ze canadian visa) and me realized that me cud have got ze same photo at school though on a dark orange instead of a pale blue background (both YUCKY)... Considering zat me paid Rs 100 (~US$2) for 10 of zese photographs going 2 skool and doing it myself wud have beeeen wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy better and wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy cheaper, specially considering zat I cud have improved ze photos and made them according to wat I like…

Lately me have noticed zat TextEdit seems to be highlighting an increasingly large no. of words on me Blog posts, and since it doesn’t have separate dictionaries I can’t really afford to add all these words which ze HUMANS and CHIMPS of ze world wud consider to be incorrectly spelt… Sad ‘coz me not like wriggly red lines below everything zat me write… Ze PANDA NOW DEMANDS ZAT APPLE ALLOW MULTIPLE CUSTOMIZABLE DICTIONARIES TO BE USED WITH TEXTEDIT… Since Apple hasn’t yet been inhabited by 2 many chimps (though ppl there may have been affected by ze conspiracy ray, can’t be really sure abt zat) I expect it 2 implement atleast some part of zis feature by ze time it finally releases MacOS X 10.4 (hmm instead of calling it Tiger or whatever catty name they have planned they shud call it Panda, “Apple announces the release of Panda” has a nice ring 2 it…

Ummm I don’t know whether I shud say zis or not, since I do neeeeeeeeed all ze luck I can get, and considering my haul of christmas cards, not many wud be returning zis, stilllll HAPPPPPPPYYYYYY NEW YEAR… There done, hope zis doesn’t get subtracted from me haul of happiness, or me haul of luck, since me want a better year…................

Ze Panda
Fervently praying for a betttttttttttterrrrrrrr new year, while searching for a way around ze chimp conspiracy… AND WAITING FOR THE SONGS NAME….............

‘Tis the season to be …. deferred (what did u expect, merry making, umm a little bit of dat 2 but more on zat later)... Take my deferred celebration of 100 yrs of flight for instance. Ze airline guys (chimps that they r) deferred this deferred celebration by canceling ze damn flight which was supposed to help me celebrate… Not only zid zey cancel the flight, they forced me to learn abt every nook and cranny of Delhi’s airport, ze flight numbers of flights to every part of India, and some very effective methods of troubling chimpanzees (my book on zis topic wud be hitting book-shelves worldwide sometime next millennium since I am deferring my writing of zis book)... Oh and they also taught me zat parents can’t be relied on to change flight plans or get to a destination even after ur flight’s cancelled, u have 2 go and do all ze little pieces of work urself since parents have 2 many human and chimp friends and zese ‘friends’ keep wanting to ensure zat u don’t get 2 ur destination… Sad, me say considering the only human (maybe part panda, can’t be sure) friend who was interrrrrrresting to talk 2, decided to get back his money and ended up not going…. So keeping in line with ze deferment principle, me deferred writing zis piece by 12 hrs (or more depending on when ze internet guys send me my renewal pack, zey dared to close down me acct when me was gone, EVERYONE THE AIRLINES, THE NET COMPANY, THE DAMN RESORT, THE COOK, IN SHORT EVERYONE IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME, PROBABLY SOME DAMN CHIMP GoT THEM WITH A CHIMP CONSPIRACY RAY AND MADE THEM DO THAT, BOOooooooooooooHOOoooooooooooooooo…..)...

Getting back to ze trip, well it was ok, neither 2 good, nor 2 bad, though I did get 2 c 2 rhinos on one verrrrrrryyyy dark rainy day… Sadly the trip didn’t count much in terms of photography since ze resort guys scared ze living daylights out of all ze ‘great’ biochemists by telling zem that it was dangrous to step out of ze compound ‘coz there were some terrorists or something hiding zeir… Zat basically ruined me first (half) day, since me had to spend exceedingly huge amts of time convincing ppl zat there was no real danger and ze resort guys were merely trying to scare and looooooooooot zem, chimps that zey were. Unfortunately it takes a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggg time to convince humans zat ze chimps of ze world r conspiring against ze panda, and zat a small percentage of managers r chimps and zat zese mangers can therefore not be relied upon to tell neone trooooooooly abt ze security situation of a region, and zat Delhi wasss probably more dangerous than zis little place tucked in some corner… Ze second day (ze first full one) was better but only slightly since zese guys wanted me 2 go ‘round with zem in sorry excuses for jeeps, which were definitely not designed to fit pandas, and have a picnicy lunch at some riverside thingee (me not like picnicy lunches with 150 ppl since picnic spots don’t have corners, and u can’t reallllllllllllllllllyyyyyy hide in zese places), and zen zey took me off to a natl. park named Gorumara, which was a 10th of ze size of the national parks I usually visit and we gotta c absolutely nothing… There were zese nice ppl weaving hhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggge baskets on ze way to zis place, but all ze other ppl in ze jeeps heading out 2 zis place wudnt lemme stop and photograph zem, and well me cudnt do nething, now that me knew zat chimps had been conspiring against me trip alllll along (wonder if ne of u leaked info abt me trip, can never be sure now cannnnnn I, since ze chimpy spy ray seems to work pretty well, even if u r an unwilling spy)... The third day started out rainily, and well we took a short trip to Jaldaparda, thankfully alone zis time, and well me gotta c 2 nice little rhinos (seems their thick skin protects them from ze Chimp Conspiracy Ray doing ze rounds) and well zey were chomping on grass as usual… Fortunately when me returned to ze resort it stopped raining, and me decided to skip out on ze trips these guys were taking and mostly walk around photographing ppl and things (after all for a panda ppl r wildlife) and me came across some pretty weirdly nice looking ppl… Most of my photos were taken yesterday since ze flight was delayed (again) and we went ‘round in a rather circuitous manner, seeing some prettttty spots on ze river and we went thru zis onnnnnnnne huggggggggggggggge market and well me got 2 c lotsa interesting ppl and sights there… Still me got 2 finish only 2 rolls (36+4 pics in each) of film, and zat is sad for someone who usually finishes something like 7 on an average weekend vacation (the kind where u leave on a saturday and return on a sunday), mostly becoz zese guys were afraid zat everytime I took out me camera me drew 2 much attention towards meself, not good with ze militants & all ‘round… Saddly zey forget zat no one wants 2 shoot ppl with cameras photographing strangers since they r as likely as not 2 be photojournalists and no one wants to mess with journalists since zese r ze guys who give u propaganda coverage…....

The food was edibly (ya ya me know there’s no such wrd but its my blog, my choice, u don’t like it go and read someone elses blog) ok though not as gr8 as everyone had been telling me it wud be, mostly becoz ze manager at ze resort was a CHIMP and was LOOOOOOOOOOOOTING ze HUMAN ORGANIZERS who paid unbelievable large amts of mone (u know zose little papers which u barter for things) for baaaaaddddddd foooooooooooooooooooooooooood, and well all ze participants were pretttty unhappppppy since zis was ze first time zat zey had got such sorry fooooooooood… Ze foooooood was so bad it ain’t even worth writing abt…......

Even me parents agree zat ze place was unbelievably hot with no one wearing ne sweaters or ze like… Most of zese guys like me dad had packed tons of winter clothing which came back untouched and unworn becoz it wasn’t cold enuf to wear zem… So ze panda was correct abt ze winter clothing thingee eventhough one of ze readers had been insisting zat it can’t be so, and zat me was carrying toooooooooooo few winter clothes…

Me also gotta c MIG-21’s (distinctive nose cone) take off and land (with ze brake parachute deploying & all) at Bagdogra airport yesterday, and me saw one HUGGGGGGGGE IL-76 transport plane take off, welll worth ze time I spent in ze airport getting bored….........................

Coming back to Delhi was a mixed experience, becoz me got thru UAlberta, which though not at ze top of my list of colleges, atleast offers me some place to go off to next yr, and well me have been filling in ze Visa form since then and hopefully will be getting a Visa in a month or so… Even if I get thru to an American university, having a Canadian visa doesn’t hurt since me then have ze option of visiting and seeing Canada… However ze Net Company has shutdown me net access ‘coz I have less than 5 minute of online time left, and zat is sad ‘coz me sooooooo wanted to go online today morning…..

Ze Panda
Happppy for ze college decision, but not merry (merriment deferred until Ze Panda knows the actual college he’s heading off 2, i.e. either he gets thru at Princeton, or he goes thru a list of all he’s got thru picking his fave)...

Pandas live in the wild (in case u didn’t know that) and well city pandas like me need to get a breath of the wild every once in a while, so well me am off to see tea estates, rhinos, and jungles at Jalpaiguri… Posting to zis blog is suspended until further notice, is expected to restart sometime in 29th or 30th but then again with Indian Airlines I can’t be sure… But neways further notice will be served soon enuf so revisit close to these two date….

Ze Panda
Serving notice for ze first time in his life…..

Y can’t humans go thru their itineraries???? And y can’t ze damn airlines (which hire both humans and chimps) stick to a single flight plan?????? In a horrendous hr (sometime yesterday evening) I was been given three departure times for me flight tomorrow and zey r so spread abt that me am probably gonna be sitting at ze airport from 6 AM (doubt neone wud be flying b4 then)... First someone told me ze flights delayed to 11:30, but me dad wasn’t here so he asked me to call zem up again and reconfirm, zis time they told me that it was gonna take off at 8:35 or 9:00, so confused old me decided to call them up a third time and ze chimps (or humans, though unlikely) manning the info booth told me its gonna take off at 12:00…... Me am wholly entirely completely confused and stupefied…. Pandas don’t like such confusion and indecision (except when they r discussing ideas) since they can’t process which part of the info to follow and which not to… And this after ze civil aviation minister (who I assure u knows nothing abt aviation, and his knowledge of civilities is also on shaky ground) has been issuing statements abt how info systems for airports and airlines shud be improved… Ya right info systems or misinfo systems manned by chimps…. Then me discovered that me dad didn’t know zat ze flight time while flying back is 4 hrs (no I am not flying across time zones, or going transatlantic or nething, just that ze flight picks and drops off a few passengers at one of zis countries great state capitals) and he had kindda planed that we’d be reaching Delhi in 2 hrs… Sad considering zat me had taken ze itinerary from ze ticket pouch which has been lying with him for all zese days…. Sad me say real sad…

Me also satisfied by immense appetite for chocolates today and am carrying with me a six pack for tomorrow (in case ze flight is delayed, dad has his cigarets, mom has her tea and coffee, but chocolates at airports r 2 damn expensive and well if me feeeeelllll hungggrrrrrry me can gorge on ze chocolate, hell me will gorge either ways so who cares)...

I finally gave in, actually me dad finally gave in, we paid for ze set top box today, since 2 many days have passed since me have seen a new movie on HBO or Star Movies, and hopefully if me order one now it shud be here by ze time I come back, thus allowing me to view ze Attack of Ze Clones when it is aired (though me have seen it earlier in a movie hall, me wanna watch it on TV, TV so much better than halls), though sadly recording may not be possible since it doesn’t let my VCR watch a separate channel while I watch another one though me am trying to find a way to workaround zis hurdle, more when I return…

Me have been trying to create a new Yahoo profile, and lets just say ze system sucks… First Yahoo doesn’t allow me to change my nick, instead relying on my to create a brand new profile everytime me want a new nick… To make matters worse I need to have a profile name which no other fool on the face of the world has used, so zat makes it insanely hard to find something that I like but hasn’t been taken, and then theirs this huge long list of things which r and rnt allowed (wonder how Yahoo filters profile names for porno content, me truly do)... While I like YM fer some of the functionality zat it provides, there r a lot of things it can improooooove on… So me shall continue sticking to iChat and MSN for me chatting needs (if I wanted u to have me on ur contact list, ud already know me IDs for both, if u don’t ur probably not wanted, so stay away).............

On a happier note, me did c ze markets today and well they r pretty gaily decorated though arguably not as gaily as they were in 2000 at ze peak of the economic boom, but ya its good to c all ze decorations, ze trees, ze cotton (no snow) and ze streamers, in ze shops… Not much choice in deciding which is better though all of them seem to have been done up in ze same style by ze same guy or maybe me have just lost me touch at cing ze tiny differences in ze christmas decor, me unhappy if me lost touch, me liked touch…...

Seems there was some party with a 1000+ guys at some guys palace (no I didn’t mean place) in Jodhpur today, and there’s a champagne lunch there today… Ze papers say ppl r clamoring for invites and getting invited is a big thing but me not c y, since when me go to a 200 ppl party me stick to a corner chomping on appetizers Me wud be doing much ze same in a 1000 ppl party, except that maybe ze appetizers wud be better and ze corner bigger… Better appetizers me can understand but wat am me supposed to do with ze bigger corner, bigger corner => gr8r visibility of corner => harder 2 hide, so not gooooooood… Now Ze Panda hasn’t been invited this yr so it ain’t an issue, but one of zese yrs he’s going to be, and well then what is he supposed to do at zis big a party… They also have royalty coming in and some royal guy celebrating his birthday at ze polo grounds tomorrow… Me don’t understand or much like Polo, and well me don’t really enjoy champagne enuf to be cooped up with some guy who claims 2 be royalty but who cares if he is or isn’t (umm ok he is but his kingdom was taken away from him so how can he be a king without a kingdom, me wonders) I am sure I can come up with better things to do on christmas day…..

Hohum, me didn’t c the portly man flying around today, kids wud be disappointed…

Neways here’s goodbye and Merry Christmas, until 29th when me shalth be back to bore u a little more… CYA…..........

Ze Panda
Hoping to take off on time tomorrow, and missing ze BLOG already…........

PS: Looks like it was Scribbler’s day @ skool… Read an account from a rather ununderstanding friend who’s in 11th so didn’t take part, of course last yr zis was one of ze few skool thingees I did take part in, and well it was goooooooooood since u mostly stick around with friends thruout ze day….

Umm my bags r packed (and I am ready 2 go, though certainly not waiting outside neones door) and I did manage to block seats for meself and the family (2D,E,F so pretty cool seats)... Tele-checkin was interesting since these guys r supposed to open tele-checkin for a particular flight 24 hrs b4 its stated time of departure, however they were delayed ‘coz they r making some changes to ze flight plan (don’t know what r ze changes so shall call up in ze evening to pester them for details)... My parents have gone overboard with packing winter clothes and r carrying tons of sweaters, jackets, mufflers and caps (me on the other hand am carrying a jacket only), and its becoming kindda strange (I know pandas live in cold climates but I doubt I have ze same adaptations as ze rest of ze population since I have spent most of me time in a (usually) hot (and sometimes cold) city, though my friend may disagree on zis point…

Other than that well I am not returning on the 28th rather on the 29th (hopefully, since if Delhi fogs up they cud divert ze flight and get us back here later) and that 2 pretty late in ze evening, so I guess that after 25ths midnight post the blog wud be unupdated until 29th late evening or midnight of the 30th, unless I find a computer and a net connection which is unlikely since these damn guys don’t even use slides in their lectures instead relying on black boards… Oh and zis I am going to has tea estates so whatever time I don’t spend in ze jungle (or sitting with mom through monotonously boring lectures where ppl call sigma bonds “si” bonds without realising the psi is another Greek alphabet and the p is silent so it is pronounce “si”, biochemists sigh…) I shall spend exploring and (hopefully) photographing tea estates….

Me flight is supposed to be at 8:35 tomorrow and me am unhappy abt zat (but me definitely don’t want ze flight delayed by even ze slightest amt, food is a small discomfort as compared to waiting for extended durations in an airport lounge) since I usually enjoy airline food, and zese guys stupidly (always) serve eggs for breakfast, and Ze Panda absolutely detests eggs (zey get ze panda pretty close to vomiting and I doubt ne of the other humans and chimps on ze plane wanna c a panda vomit), and well me don’t know what vegi breakfasts on zis flight is gonna be like (though usually its pretty coooool)... Ze airline crew and ze damn hotel guys r probably not gonna be serving cokes (or in ze airlines case fruit juice) either, it being winter and all, and me LOVE Coke (even fruit juices reasonably) in all seasons, and me want Coke, since me don’t drink tea or coffee which these fooooooolllllssss serve no matter what ze season (I bet some chimp decided the menu, probably to trouble pandas)... Oh and I have been assured that me shalth have pretty gooooooooodddddd foooooooooood at ze place me am going off to…

E-Cards r 2 damn expensive specially the ones that I like… Even Yahoo greetings charges money for ze Looney Toons card that I luv and zis is sad ‘coz if I wanted to pay I’d much rather get one of zose nice paper ones and send it out (booooooohoooooooo, me wanted to send ze Looney Toons one to ppl, realllllllllyy, and well me dont wanna make a dummy HTML file which links ze swf file from their site (umm I have done zis so don’t think it can’t be done), me being a good little panda and allll….. BOOOOHOOOOO (being goooood hurts)..

Neways remember to watch ze portly guy and his reindeers flying over ur houses (though me have never gotten nething from him, legend says he will be flying tonight, so just keep a lookout, if u don’t spot him it ain’t me fault, write to ze North Pole, they’ll know what to do with ur letter)... Oh and Merry Christmas…......

Ze Panda
Sorry for not sending e-cards, hopeful that he will take off on time, but wanting no egg in ze damn food, and waiting for ze better food at ze final destination ….....