ThePanda

Strange things me have noticed of late, and well as Master Yoda wud have put it “Investigate this we must…..” For one the chimps have come up with some sort of an energy leakage device which seems to be draining batteries within hours of each other…. My trusty TI-89 ran out of AAA cells earlier today, fortunately I was using it at that point of time and well I cud easily replace batteries b4 a complete shift to the back-up lithium cells came into effect, my wall clock ran out of batteries (AA non alkaline) and well me heater’s plug point stopped working, and all of zis within an hour of each other, so either there was massive amts of solar activity (none reported), massive activity in ze Van Allen Belts (none reported) or some sort of an EM warfare exercise, or ze chimps have come up with an energy leakage device… Since ze earlier thingees seem unlikely ze chimps get ze blame….. Secondly chimpish activity seems to go up right b4 I get some good news, which is y ze net stopped responding all thruout day-before, yesterday (which is y no blog entries avl), I got majorly bored and nuthing seemed to be going right until BANG I have a letter informing me zat I am thru at Queen’s and a new pair of Rockports and fish for dinner…..... Which is y I need a Jedi Council which wud agree to investigate both of these phenomena since ze chimp energy absorption ray is wayyyyyyyy more dangerous zan ze Chimp conspiracy ray, and well y wud someone enjoy destroying what is supposed to be a good day for me…...

As I mentioned above (umm I believe I did), I am thru at Queen’s which in essence settles where I am gonna be if I end up going to Canada (umm zat or UBC but gotta wait for zat), and also makes zis the first postered university I’ve got thru (ze posters firmly affixed to me room’s wall now)..... Some achievement me wud say, since ze though of actually going here gives me a nice fuzzy and very fuddy feeling inside (no I am not doing what a lot of ppl wud think I am), and zat is nice after a year chokefull of waiting for a good univ…..... Though getting thru one of my higher choiced american universities wud be excellent, ending up here wudnt be all zat bad…...... WOW!!!

I am also warning of a possible interface change, mostly due to a possible change in blog providers, which is kindda what I am off to search for (along with a few more hours of enjoying ze warm fuddy feeling), oh and me promises a post later today…...

Ze Panda
off to explore movable type…..

Everyone wants 2 know where their college is ranked, hell even I wanna know ze ranks of all ze colleges I am thru at (so that me can be happy and bask in ze glory of entering somewhere), colleges I have applied to (so zat I can dream) and colleges which reject me (so zat me can cry)..... Unfortunately enuf though not many ppl rank colleges on zeir science performance, and hardly ne rankings r actually international in nature, and well all rankings carry a nice warning abt how zey may be actually rigged and stufff…... Which is y in me srch for alternate means to rank colleges turned up a nice site which uses squirrels to rate colleges (zat and a nice little badger site), and though it has only four of my universities (ze ones i have applied to zat is) on list, me thinx its a smashingly gooooood idea…... Now I know pandas cannot be used for similar rating exercises since zeir r very few of us around but squirrels make an excellent factor in lieu of zat, ‘coz me likes squirrels and zeir r lotttttttts of zem living all around me house. In fact for some time one of zem has been sitting on my window ledge every afternoon, and though me don’t like opening me window (tons of chimps peering in from below, and though my rooms at first floor zey always seem to be peering in), I usually try and open ze window to see zis little critter…. Unfortunately it doesn’t really appreciate having ppl real close and wud run away if I slipped a hand out or something but is otherwise very forgiving of me activities…. Now if only me understood some of what it said me wud have spent some time discussing ze views from me window, though previous attempts at making contact (no me am not insane) have so far proven futile….....

Staying on ranks, ppl all over ze world have forever been making lists of sins, horrors, curses (ze religious kind, which I am officially supposed to know how to put, though I don’t have ze slightest idea abt it), and other such nastiness…. Well I have a few recommendation for nasty things which parents can do to u, and all of zese r from past experiences, though not all of zese experiences took place today…. Number one on my list is having ur parents constantly ask u abt who ur girl friend/crush is, mostly ‘coz ur probably never gonna tell them those facts (at least I ain’t) and lying is particularly hard. Besides telling zem u have none gets u a reminder that u shud probably have one, and well having a gf/c wud probably help in ze mood/behavior department (oh ya so wud having a college, a merc, a G5, a new book worthy of being read, a year round all u can c pass to a movie theater, a year round all u can eat pass to a deli of me choice, and a ton of other such stuff)..... Number two wud be having to discuss actresses with ur dad, which I was unfortunately forced to do a few hours earlier, all ‘coz me dad very innocently asked me abt which of ze current actresses I really like (umm I assume he meant hollywood actresses, ‘coz I don’t even recognize half ze bollywood ones, zey r just separate arrays of names and faces), and well discussing how ‘hot’ an actress is is kindda hard, which is y I ended up giving him a lot of hogwash abt which actress seemingly acts well, though at ze end of it Jodie Foster and Angelina Jolie still came out on top (I kindda like them, well Foster in general, and Jolie in a few movies specially ze Bone Collector).... Third wud be watching fashion TV (the old uncensored variety) with ur dad, specially when ur friend walks in while ze lingerie shows being shown (happened a few years back and caused immense amts of embarrassment at skool).... Oh and fourth wud be having old exploits discussed by ur parents, and their friends, while ppl who r apparently ur friends watch on (specially ze one where I propose to a female, even though I was 3 ‘coz some fool convinced me to do it)......

Yesterday was too ok a day, no highs or lows, which is y I have returned to what has of late become my equilibrium point (and is unfortunately too low)..... There were no chimpish conspiracies (umm no major ones at least), food was just Ok (neither too goood nor too bad), no good news, no bad news, no ok news, hell no phone calls, no chats and well nothing else really, and if zis wasn’t exactly a week b4 my corbet trip it wudnt even have been a day worth remembering…......

Umm ya on my meanderings I also ran into something called ze Squirrel Lover’s Club and me was a little sad to discover zat there’s no panda lover’s site, hell there rnt a lot of panda sites either ways…. Sad ‘coz not only does zat make me an endangered guy, but one who’s not really loved or hated in ne amt, zat despite ze fact zat pandas r supposed to be all cute and cuddly….........

Ze Panda
off to search for panda loving sites…........

Me got me license today (ok its one of those learner thingees, but as zee very least me can legally drove now), and well unlike what most of me friends had been trying to convince me ze entire thing is 2 simple and well the guys at ze DMV r both friendly and efficient….. Maybe a little 2 friendly ‘coz all ze laminated question papers zey handed out for ze written test had answers marked on zem and zat kindda defeats ze entire point of ze test, oh and surprisingly (at least for India) ppl actually queued up in single file here, with no one trying to break ze queue or shout or bribe zeir way out of waiting….. What was rather more surprising though was ze number of ppl who failed, hell at least 50% of ze guys failed their test, which is crazy since these guys ask u abt traffic signs, driving in mountainous roads and little else, sad…........ But yahooooooo me now have a license to drive, so watch out…...........

Me am also happy to announce zat mathematical proof of ze linearity of postal delivery from a small subset of the countries of ze world is now at hand, and though there is a distinct shift to non-linear forms on weekends, national holidays, and whenever ze postman is ill, a small supplementary fee of Rs. 100 (~$2) every three or so month wud maintain linearity at most times (umm except ze weekends and national holidays)..... However for reasons unknown the time frame of delivery from ne location is a function of its name rather than its actual distance which is y mail delivery from the US takes a mere 7-10 days while mail delivery from Alberta, Canada takes close to 20 days (Ontario, Canada takes 15 days), and for certain locations specially those in the United Kingdom (or so my father says) linearity as of now remains unproven and unestablished….. Of course me demand a share of ze profit neone earns from ze use of zis information though I protect myself from ne losses u may incur in using it, oh and all of zis discovery is my intellectual property and hence me establish me rights on it….... Oh and I am attempting to perform a second degree analysis to determine what other factors mail delivery depends on specially when non-linear forms emerge and umm if someone’s ready to support my efforts on zis u might actually get something of value…...... Oh and all zis is to say zat me got me acceptance letter from Calgary and well its got a reallllllllllllllly scary bull on its top, but still it says me am thru (add feel good factor here).......

Sadly what wud otherwise been a perfect day was ruined by a lack of availability of Duracell Ultra in ze markets around me house…... Duracell ultra is essentially a slightly more powerful battery from Duracell, which is essentially designed for use with cameras, portable TVs and ze like and is also slightly more expensive than regular duracells (Rs. 20 or about 40¢ more), and for some strangely pandaish reason is probably ze only battery I’d ever use on my Game Boy Advance, ‘coz I can’t put lithium batteries into it….. Unfortunately I also needed extra batteries for me N90 and well a search of Ultras in markets all around my place turned up absolutely nothing, with most shopkeepers never having heard of it, and ze rest saying zat it was far 2 expensive and underselling to be kept…. Zis in essence means zat I’ll have to head out to a place much further from my house where I am pretty sure Duracell Ultra’s r available…..... Sadddddddd….......

Ze funny looking car on ze left is ze ULTRa, a transportation solution being considered for Cardiff and Heathrow, and well is supposed to be a driver-less cab…. Ze smart ass who came up with ze idea claims zat not having a driver helps ‘coz ppl won’t be hassled by cabbies, and it’ll be something like a vertical lift….. While zis all sounds very nice in principle, me have a sentimental attachment with cabbies, ‘coz I have spent lots of time in cabs and choochs over ze past 3 years and what really made it really interesting and worthwhile was ze cabbie…. After all if u have to travel in a cab for an hour or more (much more in ze case of ze ULTRa which appears to be ultra slow), u do want ze cabbie ‘coz he’s the guy (umm they’re the humans as ze canadians wud have me say to maintain gender equality) who actually talks 2 u and entertains u and while I have had more than my fair share of cabbies harassing me for more money than it actually costs, and have had cabbies who have problems navigating along a lot of routes in Delhi, I still don’t believe eliminating cabbies is ze most elegant or even ze ideal solution to these problems, since more often than not cabbies have been friendly towards me…..... In fact some of the cabbies with whom I have travelled multiple times have told me a lot abt zeir families, and well I know cabbies who r more intelligent than their jobs actually make them appear (theirs this cabby in new york whose actually a photographer, but since being a cabby helps him get more candid shots, he doubles as a cabbie…... Which is y I am hoping zat ULTRas (the car kind, not ze battery) don’t turn up newhere near me netime soon…........................

Ze Panda
off to pray for more college accepts and duracell ultras in a wholly pandaish way…..........

Today may be ze bestest day me have had in some time (though its probably gonna be surpassed in ze 5-11 period but zen again Corbett is ze best of ze bestest)..... Me get me learner’s license today (umm hopefully), me have C$2000 from York, me am going to get me Calgary acceptance (assuming mail dispatch and delivery dates r linearly related zat is). and though both of zese r hardly of ne importance zey do gimme ze all important feel good factor (ask ne damn economist abt it, ze feel good factors all zat reallllllly matters).......... Oh and we r having chinese for dinner today, so its gonna be one hell of a day….. Zat is if ze damn chimps don’t aim zere chimp conspiracy ray 2 much, and no one does nething stupid, and everything goes perfectly and blah and blah…... One 2 many things cud go wrong, so statistically me chances of having a good day r limited (chances of all ze atoms in ur body coming together within ze volume of ur body r also pretty slim, slimmer than me chances of having a good day, but there u r, ur atoms and all) but me hope its good, ‘coz me have some amt of feel good factor in me….........

I finally go for my driving license (ze learners version) today, and though my friends assured me zat with no guy on ze inside I shalth never manage to apply, much less get one, me shalth trust zis on ze all important feel good factor….. Hmm sadly ze realllllly important universities haven’t yet decided to send out decisions and zat is getting on my nerves even on zis seemingly goooooooooood day, me guess it shall come after me return from Corbett but me really don’t like all zis waiting….........

I can’t come up with much more to write, so ud get more when I can come up with it…...

Ze Panda
wondering what’s wrong with his b-rain…..........

The gr8 circus that is an election has started (neh not in the US where the democratic caucuses started sometime back), and well comments r being fired with gr8 gusto and fanfare….. Which is y me ran into ze gr8st example of my world not global village thingee earlier today….. Some fool just declared zat both ur parents shud be natural born Indian citizens b4 u can take up public office…. Now I know some countries insist on having only natural born citizens in public offices (ze US for example) however I have never really heard ze concept of parents also being natural born citizens…... What makes zis even funnier is zat ze comment was aimed at kids of a former Indian prime minister, and well not only were these guys born in India but there family is pretty much synonymous with power in India, and well considering that we of r own admittance r trying to bring ze world together, considering zat we promised in r constitution that we’d help bring peace and prosperity to ze world, considering zat we’re signatories to a charter which begins with ze word “We the peoples of the United Nations having determined to save future generations from the scourge of war which twice in our lifetimes has brought untold sorrow to mankind and….......... have resolved to combine our efforts to accomplish these aims….” (ze keyword being combine), we’re kindda going against r own principals…. But then again who am I to comment on chimpish activities…. Neways lawyers have also gotten into ze circus with lots of them commenting on ze legality of statements made by a governor yesterday…. Umm ze governor called a chimp a chimp and a broken state a broken state much to ze indignation of ze chief minister…..... Hmm me have a feeling zis circus wud go on for a lot longer than it shud and later parts won’t be as interesting, though ze only reason me am interested is ‘coz ze elections bring me a nice little Voter ID card which is gonna be only ze second piece of paper which can officially prove me am me (now am I me).......

Well chimps at ze engineering section which takes care of housing down here have managed to break a major water pipe and I am needed to check on what zey hav broken so I am mostly off…..

Ze Panda
off to figure out what ze chimps broke….............

I’m bak, a whole 3 days after my little disappearing act me am bak, though zat is not to say me was responsible for ze little disappearing act, oh no ze chimps deserve credit for zat….... Me friend who happens to host zis nice little blog for me was in India and well on ze last day of his short trip bak home something happened and his comp went offline…. From what he’s told me cycling power has mostly changed zat, which is good but shows u zat all ze recent temporary comm outages r a result of ze chimp conspiracy ray which ppl shud finally start recognizing and act towards destorying it… Hmm either ways times been pretty good 2 me during ze outage…. Spirit is bak online and umm Opportunity has successfully landed on Mars, I’ve had lunch with a friend, have managed to acquire animatrix (ya its old but it hasn’t yet been officially released in INDIA), managed to buy not one but two new music CDs, one pair sunglasses and well have weaseled away another one of my dad’s cameras, but more on zat later…...

The world’s become a small place, we live in a global village (me live in a city with cows, chimps, humans, pandas, rhesus monkeys, langoors, rats, mosquitos, dogs, and a dozen other varieties of unwild wildlife, so I don’t know abt ze village deal; but then again real life, rather than virtual reality is my alternate reality, and well my sanity level is as of now undefined) so say Tom, Dick, and Harry, umm specially if ne of them happen to be politicians (which a lot of chimps, very few humans, and no pandas r).... Which is y ud believe that in a global village ppl wud be more adept at accepting foreign cultures, more understanding and the like….. Now my parents (who actually r very accepting of other cultures) or some of my friends parents not accepting or even trying to understand cultures is understandable after all they rnt “children of the revolution” (used in a completely different sense and context than what it was originally used) and r hence exempt from understanding a lot of shit, but if someone whose closer to my age and is a friend doesn’t understand it, specially if this guys been on the net as long as I have been and has seen as much as I have then it becomes an issue, since it obviously means that we r as disconnected from other countries as we were say 50 yrs back and that means there’s been no revolution…. Which is why I was a little concerned when my friend described most manga art as umm semi-pornography, and well he even included CardCaptors in his list of what looked like semi-porn….. Now I don’t watch cardcaptors, and frankly its a sickly girlish show, but well having said that kids watch and its not perverted or pornographic, hellllllll it potrays japanese schoool girls, and while the japanese r know to produce more kid-porn than ne other country on the face of the earth, its unlikely that they’d be able to distribute kid=porn worldwide on television networks usually watched by little kids or that they’d be even allowed to do something like that…. He felt the same way abt animatrix 2, and though animatrix does have a few suggestive scenes, but hell everything on the face of the earth has suggestive scenes, and that doesn’t decide ze difference between porn and non-porn…. Now Japanese arts traditionally have focused on thinly dresses women, and well japanese have never really been very prudish, so there’s nothing unnatural or bad abt what these guys show in their country, unfortunately a lot of ppl haven’t accepted this fact…. Its not as if my friend (who I hope isn’t angry that I wrote this down) is the only one who feels zis way, I have run into others who collect japanese anime for its ‘pornographic value’, and well doing something like this sadly mocks the closeness which has actually allowed us access to Japanese anime in the first place, it betrays the very revolution that has brought the world close enuf to allow an open exchange of ideas and cultures… Unless we can get ppl to understand that no culture is superior, and each represent a different way of thinking, a different style of life, unless we r ready to step out of the morality which r cultures (rather than r humanity, pandanity, or chimpality as the case may be) have imposed on us and not try to judge cultures on their morals, we will never have nething like a global village, we’d never reach the stable equilibrium which we have been searching for both economically and socially, and that’d be sad ‘coz then r cultures rather than enabling r progress wud actually be hampering it, and well that is not exactly the entire idea of this culture thinge….............

Hmm me am taking the F3 and a N90 (the site and the picture show the slightly different S edition which essentially has a vertical shutter release, and no sound functions) to Corbett, and well that makes the N90 the third camera I have successfully weaseled out of my dads collection of cameras…. However my dad has been offering me some part of his Nikon system instead of the Pentax system I used to use, mostly ‘coz he needs to buy me a 300mm Pentax lens before I’d agree to take that….. This offer kindda solves my problem since I also get the 80mm which I luvvvvvvvvvved and well I get a wide angle, a 300, a 180 and a 50 so that’d be one two more lenses than I have now, which makes it well worth ze effort…. Oh and I wud also get the N90 (called F90 in Europe) which wud make it my firs truly automatic camera… I ain’t a great fan of autofocus SLRs mostly becoz I feel zey reduce the amt of creative control a manual focus camera offers (mostly becoz they take over both aperture and shutter controls) and r kindda hard to use in manual modes, however autos do have the advantage of offering much greater speeds, and well the N90’s aperture priority settings pretty good, and does allow me to do most of what I want….. However battery costs wud probably kill me in college….......

My driving license has again been deferred, at least by a day, since ze insider was not reachable by phone today, but hopefully I can go to the DMV by day after tomorrow, hopefully I can…... I have also finally acquired Dido’s No Angel, though sadly it hasn’t really met my expectation, specially since I have already heard ze much better Life for Rent.... However the OST of Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimerron has been much better, in fact there r at least 4 songs (Here I Am, Brothers Under the Sun, Sound the Bugle, You Can’t Take Me) which me can’t get enuf of…... Hmm nice songs for a movie on a horse….......

Ze Panda
hoping zat ze friend referred to earlier doesn’t kill or maim him or ze friendship….......... Ze Panda is scared….................

If there’s one TV channel I want access to riggggggght noooooow, its ze Nasa channel, ‘coz I can but imagine how funny it’d be to watch live feeds from mission controll as ppl there piss and shit in zeir pants searching for Spirit…... Ooooh ya its official Nasa has lost contact with Spirit (which is one of ze mars rovers) and while I am not happy abt it (y shud I be, ze photos which it had sent until now loooooked pretttttttty coool and not getting them can’t be good), its real fun watching Nasa spokespeople announcing how Nasa and ze rest of ze US governments (including NSF and all ze universities which contributed to ze 2004 Mars Exploration Project) r absolutely unconcerned abt zis ‘coz it has happened b4, all zis while u imagine how ze Director of Nasa wud be soiling his pants trying to get a few wistful hours of sleep b4 he goes on national television, explaining zat a rover which costed upwards of $400 million (zat is ze US variety) has actually not disappeared into oblivion, only forgotten to respond, and explain how his fail safe mechanisms wud take over ne time and get it back to life…... Hmm I guess ne genius who knows why zese guys rnt receiving transmissions or has tiny green friends on Mars will be welcomed at Pasadena (ze JPL not ground control which is at Houston, the ground control does absolutely nuthing for rovers, besides theres Caltech nearby and its supposed to have a beeeeeyoooootifullll campus)....... Well newasy jokes apart zis is one of ze main reasons why being the chief of Nasa is gonna be hard for ne engineer or scientist, ‘coz well even though no one has confirmed zat Spirit is dead, ze beebs already started talking abt major breakdowns in 2004 Mars project as has CNN and zat is sad ‘coz the point of these missions is not to ensure nething close to a 100% success rate, and well even if ze Spirit is dead, considering the amt of data its already sent we shudnt really be criticizing NASA for a failure… Besides the moment a space probe fails everyone gets down to ze nitty gritty of how much money was involved and zat is sad ‘coz science consumes money and its not as if every scientific achievement is supposed to give an instantaneous boost to the world economy (show me one consumer product running courtesy of quantum mechanics) or zat every failure is necessarily a complete failure, after all failures do teach ppl what can go wrong with experiments and tell u that at least this one path doesn’t work…. Its not as if ur gonna come up with the right path every time u take a guess, besides lately Nasa projects have been way cheaper than ze ones of yester years, after all each of the Voyagers cost more in purely numerical terms as compared to this entire mission, when u factor in things like inflation the price difference is astronomical….. Which is y ze panda supports NASA at this pt of time and hopes zey manage to find and connect to zeir little buddy on mars, and well ze panda is trying to find out if ne of ze other pandas know of ne friendly little green person on MARS who’d help out with ze rovers repairs…... Oh and me also believes zat all of zis damage was caused by ze chimp conspiracy ray which I am ready to bet is interfering with ze radio signals sent by ze Spirit…...

Sticking with NASA for a moment, everyone seems to have forgotten all abt ze Cassini project which if still running shud be reaching Saturn by July…. Now considering zat we’ve been to mars more than once, orbiting Saturn seems like a much more interesting thing 2 do…. Besides ze old Mission Engineer for ze Cassini project (and ze current architect for ze M2K4 project) had a nice PhD. thesis entitled “The Persistence of Charm in the Relentless Decay of Beauty” which btw has nuthnig to do with either beauty or charm, instead relating 2 beauty-charm mesons…..

Hmm well me shalth stop writing zis entry now ‘coz pauridge.org is not up and I ain’t sure abt when it will be back online….

Ze Panda
wondering when pauridge wud be back…...