Requiems

Long it has been since I last wrote, wary however I have had to be, for it’s hard to write and not compare, hard to write and not tally fellowships and truths of old with those new, hard not to analyze that which was universally true, hard to not tarry fellowships of value, fellowships of old. Important it however is that I write, for while words of wisdom I may not commit, words of importance these certainly are, for this is my record, and this is what I feel, the world needs to know what I feel, for I exist in this world… A New Year has dawned, and tomorrow I shall be gone, and though return I shall soon, the days have begun to grow long, and soon it’ll be time when I head back to the lands of far, lands which beacon with promises of scholarship and fellowship.

It’s been more than a week since I arrived, and it has been not as bad as I thought, though it has been mostly boring, and I can’t blame people for that. No matter how hard I try, I can’t but help feel like an intruder in the networks of life which my closest friends have built while I have been away, makes sense, I have been away for long, and I shall soon disappear, and I can’t expect them to leave open nodes I can reconnect to, open nodes which would make me feel like I am a part of the network again, I guess it’d be as hard as someone I know trying to fit into my current web of connections, into my current web of life while I am at Brown, and while it feels weird to be back in what was once universally believed to be home and feel as if home’s a few thousand miles and a world away. It’s weird to not have things I have gotten used to, it’s weird to not being used to things I always had, it’s weird to try and find people, weird to not find people who’d happily walk up to Massachusetts, and yet know these same people are people who are close to me, people who were and still are important to me, weird to find that walking on the roads in Delhi is not fun, and I used to do it all the time before I left, hard to realize that the air is often dustier than I imagined, and that I never noticed. A friend once mentioned, and this was back when I had first arrived, that he was surprised that four months of being away had acclimatized me to a place so distant, and to such an extent that I find my home of 18 years weird. Well at least I know I am not alone, everyone I know finds it weird to be home, most I know wish they could be back at Brown. But well we need breaks I guess, and at least for me it’s been a break of intense comparison, for everyone I know has asked me to compare things, expecting me to pick one, and I don’t know how to pick one, it’s hard, mostly because they’re so different, and both sides stereotype the other… How I wish I could just show both sides that their conceptions, while stereotypically held across many countries are not all true, their ideas are somewhat unrealistic, I wish more of my friends would believe that not every street corner in America has a McDonald, that the typical college student’s meal doesn’t solely consist of pizzas and burgers, that the food isn’t as bad as people think, and that I don’t live in a land without social norms or “culture” whatever that’s supposed to mean…

It is true, more than one person has asked me to compare cultures across the countries, whatever that’s supposed to mean, and in a way asked me to pick which I like better. For one I am not sure how anyone defines culture, if it’s about the people, well there are good people their, as there are here, I am lucky to know people who are mostly very nice to me and each other, and being in a college at least means certain social norms and civil curtseys are followed without exception, holding doors open for one, and if that’s what people mean by culture I don’t see how American culture is any worse than ours, different yes, we have different social norms, some of which I don’t like, but well I don’t think one can be better or worse than the other. If by culture they mean art forms, well they have their own, we have our own, I like Western art forms about as much or more than I like our art forms, I have friends who like art from India better than Western European and inspired art, I like watching english movies, and I have friends, Americans before anyone questions their origin, who enjoy watching bollywood movies. How do you then expect me to give a clear answer to that question, culture is not something anyone can weigh and choose between, and while being proud of what you have is a good thing, letting pride blind you is not, sadly many I know refuse to believe this. So here’s what people should know, America is not what the movies or the TV series make it to be, nor is India what hindi movies and hindi TV shows portray it as, like India, and in fact beyond it, America is huge, there is no one characteristic that would define all places.

Food seems to be the next most common question, well lemme put this down once and for all, on somedays the V-Dub and on occasion even the Ratty serve really good food, on most days they serve okishly good food, and on occasion they serve bad food. The number of days they serve bad food is about the same as the number of days they server really good food, hence on an average the food is OK, and that’s a good thing, I don’t have a problem eating OKishly good food. No the food is not Indian, and yes I eat some form of meat everyday, yes I eat everything on offer, it’s my choice to do so, and I don’t care about what anyone else believes. Yes I like that food, no I don’t find it overly bland, or I have gotten used to overly bland food, and as far as I am concerned it’s like normal food. Why people should have a problem believing this is beyond me, why people should have a problem believing that I don’t subsist on a meal of cheese burgers and pizza is also beyond me, get over it people, I don’t have a problem with food. To all those people who have issues with the fact that they’re vegetarians, and spend time asking me about how they’d survive, umm well I’d like to point out that quite a few (well it’s at least 3) of my closest friends are vegetarians, and they seem to survive just fine, so umm it’s not impossible if you don’t make it impossible.

To all those people who have asked me about their educational standards, here’s all I have to say, unlike what we in India are brought up to believe, we neither have the toughest nor the most “comprehensive” school/college education. There are people who are studying with me, who’ve done things in high school which most of us wouldn’t ever think of doing, there are people who’ve done less, and there are people who’ve done as much, the fact that they have the option to remain at all three levels is something I think is good. It however sucks that few if any know of Brown, argh it’s a beautiful place, and there’s no place I’d rather be, and it peeves me that no one would know of it, ...

Ah well there’s more where that came from, I’ll come back to it someday, this however is enough for now, have a good year, and umm well whatever I say would be inadequate for the tsunami thing, especially seeing all the mails even Brown has had to send out to inquire about people in that region, but well I hope everything works out for those people..

Edit
So I said there’d be more, umm well there is as I was reminded during a conversation earlier. To all those who have asked me about the now ubiquitous scandal involving my school, well yes I know all about it, have for a while, and as I mentioned earlier I think it incited the wrong reactions. Unlike what some people have told me, I don’t find this surprising, and I don’t think this is a reason to shun DPS. Unlike what at least one person has mentioned, I am still proud to have gone to DPS R.K. Puram, I wouldn’t have given up on that for the world, and a lot of what I am is because of school, so to hell with all of you who feel I shouldn’t be proud of that. Hell I love school for what it is, and what it always has been, never having been caught doing anything wrong, there are a bunch of people who are trying to take the so called moral high ground, alumni are screeching about how their good name has been tarried. Well those who believe that clearly don’t understand the entire concept of school spirit, nor the implications of all that has happened, well if you feel it has tarried your name, go remove your name, disassociate yourself from the school, or do it in so much as you can, but remember it does you no good, and you’d be a hypocrite to ever re-associate yourself, and you’ll have to give up on all that the school has ever done for you, and I doubt there’s anyone out there who has the ability to do that. But before anyone does anything I seriously think it’s time we all got down from out moral high horses, and thought about what it is we are criticizing, ‘coz I find a lot of the criticism currently being leveled hypocritical. The fact that this year’s class ended up as front page news and others did not, does not necessarily imply anything about who was correct and who was wrong. And to all those darn newspaper people who portray school as a haven for sex, drugs and rock & roll, to hell with you, go get your facts straight…

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