So to all those who have been telling me that my trip will not be as bad as I envisioned, hmm I just proved you wrong, darn it’s worse than I hoped. I don’t know how to put this, I don’t hate the places, I don’t hate all the people, some are in fact really cool, I however am sick and tired of all the bureaucracy. Oh well I was sick and tired of the bureaucracy before I left, but being thrown out was not something which had happened before, and I hate it, argh… Oh well now you know, it was OK for me to say I didn’t want to be here, it was OK for me to be unhappy about things, but umm there are places I really love, and being affected by bureaucracy is not my fave thing…
Don’t get me wrong about that, bureaucracy is very much present everywhere in the world, it’s just that while at Brown I can mostly choose to ignore the bureaucracy of it all, things happen because we try and make them happen, leaving some space for others is usually enough to ensure that someone will leave space for you, and the few times I have had to be involved with bureaucracy it’s usually been pleasant people and short forms, or long complex forms with no people, and while mistakes have been made, people have usually been apologetic and have usually tried really hard to solve problems. Even when that has not happened, having groups like the nunnery crew kind of ensures that I don’t have to worry about the stupidity of the world, because reality is the last thing affecting anyone. Small waves after all do explain everything (with apologies to WNS)...
Some days before I left Providence, WNS (using MA35 nomenclature as defined by TFB, even though it doesn’t ensure a 1 to 1 mapping of people and acronyms) and I were having a discussion on one of her Xanga entries about her loosing her song. Hmm I am sorry for not knowing what it meant initially, and umm though I understood what was meant by her, I am not sure I could completely appreciate the effect. Sorry about that WNS, it had been some time since I had lost my song and it would have been hard to fathom, as you can imagine, but now I know what you meant, for as things stand I am sure stories have been lost, I am sure a part of my book has been lost, and the stories I value the most have begun to disappear. Even as new pages appear, and as pages change, mostly for the better, there were some stories that were mine, stories which like the songs which are us were important, sadly I think I just said goodbye to one of my favorite ones, the inks on the page, waiting to dry, but I am not sure when if ever the story shall be written again, when if ever it shall change, and when if ever a new twist shall appear. You were right, searching for new songs and stories is hard, but in a way I guess all we do is search for new stories and songs, and new song though I think I might find, I am not sure I can ever substitute this story 
... But then as is mentioned in this extremely surrealistic Murakami novel (Kafka on the Shore), life’s a constantly changing metaphor, hmm…
Sticking to Murakami, that’s a hellishly good book, the saving grace for most of this week (well that and State of Fear, though arguably I read the Crichton last week)... Hmm Ok let me qualify that statement, it’s an awesome piece of Japanese fiction. Throws people off, the mention of Japanese fiction, but well almost every piece of Japanese fiction I have either read (admittedly not many) or discussed with other people, has inexplicable endings, where everyone is happy, but you are left sure of the fact that no one’s actually happy, and that the story shouldn’t have ended and that it was done all wrong. True about Kafka on the Shore too, down to the second last page I stand sure that no one should be finishing the book now, sure the people have gotten to where they have to be, the puzzle is left incomplete, the metaphors incomplete, and the shore’s unbridged. It’s a beautiful book though, surrealism and all (OK I have come to the arguable conclusion that Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds is semi-surrealistic, hell a lot of what it describes is imaginable in a parallel world), with many entrances into parallel dimensions from which the world could be understood (makes perfect sense, we find it easier to understand 2-d worlds as 3-d creatures, understanding 3-d as 4-d beings should be simple enough, I am sure a lot of Ma35 people would agree, at least partially), and references to other surrealist works (mentioned as surrealist works, I think Murakami tries too hard to be surrealistic, or the translator tries too hard, I would be surprised if the Japanese edition quotes English authors)... Cool book, it doesn’t screw with people’s minds, not half as much as the back cover would have people believe, but then all I am doing is trying to get you to believe me over them, so whatever, read it, garner your own impression… Oh and just because this will help someone someday, Kafka is Czech for crow… Oh and EBJ, you were right about Murakami making his books smaller than they should be, he definitely leaves a more questionable ending than Ikezawa, Ikezawa at least doesn’t float the story on the influence of demons and Bali, Murakami pretty much resolves things in parallel dimensions.
Oh and my Mac is back with a working SuperDrive, and I’ll be starting back in 11 days, I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to that 
, escaping reality seems like fun, and there are all those people I am looking forward to meet… Then there are a few questions which have to be resolved.
Ze Panda